TO FORGIVE, OR NOT TO FORGIVE

Yes, forgiveness, I have to talk about it because there was no going forward, no evolution in my quest for spiritual progression without it. There's no going forward in the human evolutionary process until you have forgiven everyone of everything. Old and New, of the past and of the present. And believe it or not of the future too. If not for the other person's sake for yours. I have had a whole lot to forgive, and some to be forgiven for.

I made my appearance into this world parent less. From the hospital I went directly into foster care home run by Ms. Guy. Somehow another I wound up at Ms. Lewis's where I thrived. A young naive little girl, who absolutely loved Ms. Lewis and obviously she loved me. I hung on her every word. I used to go to sleep feeling so loved, so safe ,so secure because I knew she'd be there to greet me when I woke up, I knew she loved me. And yes, I knew I had no parents because she has explained it to me and somehow in my childish way I accepted it, it didn't even matter because I had Mrs. Lewis.

After her husband died, she thought that I needed a home with two parents, so she sat me down and she explained the adoption process to me. Somehow my four year old little mind understood it. I reasoned that when the lady came to take me away from Ms.Lewis that I would kick and scream in protest. But somehow I couldn't hurt Ms. Lewis any more than I already knew she was hurting so when the lady came to take me away---to my new parents, I went bravely. When Ms. P was taking me away that day I remember looking back at Ms. Lewis, a sort of long goodbye, our eyes met and she and I said goodbye for the last time, in this life.

My new parents were anything but parents, they were physically, verbally, and sexually abusive to both myself and the son of whom they adopted along with me. My "mother" was the wicked witch of the North, South, East and West. LITERALLY. I didn't trust her from the beginning. My "father" was a little harder to gauge but that was all cleared up when he attempted to penetrate me at the age of five. It's funny how you can go from not having a care in the world one minute to having the world become a strange and unusual place the next.

WE SURVIVED, that is the important thing. WE survived all the truly reprehensible, unconscionable, truly evil things that you could not even imagine that was done to us. Yes us, me and my adoptive brother. Ms. Lewis had planted a seed in me before she let me go, the seed of God. It seemed as though there was no reason to go on living but, then there was God, this idea that somehow it was okay, whatever they were inflicting upon me and my adoptive brother, in the end they would have to answer to God. And God would make it alright. It has taken sometime but I finally rationalized that, because we are all connected (whether we like it or not) that THEY ACTUALLY DID EVERYTHING TO THEMSELVES, THAT THEY CALLED THEMSELVES DOING TO ME. AND IT WOULD BE MULTIPLIED 10 TIMES WHEN IT CAME BACK TO THEM. My job was to keep on fighting the good fight. To keep on being the good daughter to them irregardless to what they were doing to me I was determined to give them GOOD for their EVIL. I remember the very day that I made up my mind to do just that.
I was 7 years old, and it was a-matter-of-fact that I was going to give them something good or do something nice every time they did something evil. It became a sort of coping mechanism. Little did I know it was right on the money!


So yes, I've been down, down so far that I could not even look up. If I told you the whole story it would take the better part of two books! Once you start to forgive though, I mean truly forgive, there is something inside of you that just surrenders to the LIFE in you. There is a part of you that lets go of all the resistance to any type of discomfort in your life. You'll experience that "Peace that passes all understanding." And in that moment, you'll realize that no one or no thing can hurt you UNLESS YOU CHOOSE TO BE HURT.

I want nothing more than for you to find forgiveness, experience forgiveness, forgiving yourself and others is the most freeing thing you can do. "It is one of the things about forgiveness you have to remember. It is not spiritual. It is part of real politics.
In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence."--- Mark Twain


"Forgiveness does not mean that we suppress anger; forgiveness means that we have asked for a miracle: the ability to see through mistakes that someone has made to the truth that lies in all of our hearts. Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. Attack thoughts towards others are attack thoughts towards ourselves. The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive."---Marianne Williamson

Here's a FREE E-BOOK on FORGIVENESS: http://tinyurl.com/nbt62

To each and everyone who reads this: My Prayer Is That You Find True Forgiveness, Now And Forever. May Your Very Soul Embrace The Very Essence Of Forgiveness.

Lovin Life, Truth Is